LIfe as it is..

Reflection Time..

After quitting my 2 yrs job, I was jobless for 3 mths.
In this 3 months, I wasn't a very good girl.

Instead of looking for job and exercising towards my slimming effort, all I do everyday is complain about being boring and get out of house every chance I had.

Fortunately, I finally passed my FTT in Oct and started my driving lesson on 4th Oct. Everyday I focused on my driving lesson and thought that my life is as meaningless as I'm doing something useful now.

As I continued to look for jobs online and through emails, I finally got myself an interview and got the job right on the second interview. The pay was way lower than the previous one but I thought that it's the only way to picked myself up and also learn from scratch another type of job, a stable (boring) job.

I was as an events executive in a training & consultancy company, a job that I thought would suit me and make me go a long way in this line. But 9 days into the job, all I do in "trying" to revamp the corporate brochure where my effort is not appreciated because my sup did not feedback anything on it and I think she's redoing it. The rest of the time I have to find thing to research on that's related to the business. Cos sup is sitting behind me that's why I couldn't surf any site that I want.

My contract is 6mths and I'm wondering whether I will continue to be in this job. I want a job that can do something big and great although it contradict to my lazy personality. My current job is stable for my uni life of 3 years but I don't think I can get far unless I'm contented to get married and work 5 days a week, 9 to 6 everyday and do monotonous stuff.

I have spent all my savings and lost money in stocks recently and it taught me a good lesson to not overestimate my monetary ability.

I have also start to break ties with bastards who only find girls for a motive and I will not contact them anymore and start to be rational in relationship. I still love to be loved and taken care of. But the effort and energy to put in thinking and worrying whether the guy is really true to you whether he will cheat around is too much for my to handle. I can't trust someone 100% now. Love & Happiness can wait. Focus on making myself happy is more important.

I have a lot and seriously a lot of comment on me putting on weight for the past years and a lot are shocked that I have let this happened to me. Even there are people to sort of start to "despise" me, cos as a girl I did not put in enough effort to make myself look good. WTF. Seriously none of your business. There are tons of girls fucking fatter than I am who did not get those criticism but girl who got fat gradually got fucked at. Anyway I will put in effort to slim down for myself and not for those fucking shallow guys.

Other than driving, I have picked up swimming and cycling and today I even tried freestyle by a friend who I wished will always be a good friend and not let other things affect this friendship.

Thank you girls who have always been there for me despite my selfish personality as I really do not know how to be caring and do not know how to maintain the friendship. I tried to meet up as frequent as possible in order to not let any gaps to form between. I'm glad that despite having failed relationships, I have these angels with me. I promised to be happier. It's Saturday and I'm home! I won't disappoint with girls with my undisciplined actions again. We always alwats stay together.

It feel so good to let things out. Sometimes I get hurt and emo easily because I'm easily affected by peoples' comments and actions and get too sensitive. So I hope if those bastards happened to read my blog, I got to tell you, IT'S NONE OF YOUR FUKING BUSINESS WHETHER I AM FAT ANOT! I will slim down for the sake of myself and not to get a bf! Get the fact right!!!

I will not get a boyfriend just because he is rich or got a car..
I will get a bf that I can marry in the end..