*In a Dilemma*

I feel so confused and totally in a dilemma.

I do have a solution to run away from hell but not the courage to do so, do not have a back up plan, and do not have to heart to leave my boss.

I love the organization, I love some of my colleagues, I love the environment, I love the remunerations, I love the benefits, I just don't fancy my role.

2 years ago, I came in with excitement, with drive, passion and an open heart and mind to learn all I can and look forward to my current role that will be given to me 1.5years later. I'm happy with my salary, with my branch (walking distance to my house), my lovely colleagues and my service role.

Nightmares begin when I was allocated to a different branch.
As I always tell others and myself, I am a very adaptive person, I can survive anywhere anyhow.

The distance became further (half an hour to work), the working hours extended, the colleagues there work very differently in terms of attitude, a lot of unfortunate incidents happened, service turned into semi-sales role, and pressure started to pile up when its nearer to my training dates for my new sales role.

Within the 5 mths in the new branch, many at times I ponder whether to leave and give up everything I have dreamt of. I have fall into dilemma before and I picked myself up when I say "Loser quit and leave, Winner stay on and fight!" So I printed that sentence and put it in my daily use file to remind myself. I do not want to leave the organization without any achievement and having a resume details to prove that I had given up halfway having written "Service Executive" for 1 year of working experience.

3 mths of trainings was a mixture of fun with colleagues and stress of daily test.
Everyone was bonded, 20 of us were having mixture feelings for the role and I can only comment that turnover rate is high. Having seen so many of our fighters leave their positions, I am a bit shaken to make a decision NOW.

Being in this role for about 4 mths now and I believe this is not what I want, I can't stay on for the salary anymore, I know I'm fortunate to be able to get a job that pays well in terms of monetary. But I'm still young, I have a choice to choose "Satisfactions Salary" as well. What I need is simply sense of achievements, job satisfactions and satisfactory salary. I am willing to climb, willing to burnt my weekends and holidays for a better returns fulfillment. Here I am, working additional hours, additional weekends, going to additional meetings and trainings and -100% satisfactions and 0% confidence in my progression here.

Even the new cleaner at my branch can be so passionate and committed to his job, now what qualities am I lacking? I should be happy that everyone "envies" my job, my salary and even my environment and how well it might make my resume be. But grass is always greener on the other side. I want to get out as soon as possible, I'm guilty for taking the salary with no result given as well.

Next step is interview, Interview, INTERVIEW!!!
Once I secured Plan B, I will let go my Plan A.


Thank You Boss for your guidance, I'm sure you will understand the reasons behind my resignation.

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