Cherie's back on blogging..

But not on sumthing good..

I'm depressed again. Once agin felt that sumthing's lost in my life. Maybe alot of things..

I have a bad habit.. And that is to take things for granted.. I take everything for granted, especially people..

So many a times I let people who care about me, let people who treat me well down and regret greatly after that but everything was too late.. Nothing can mend a broken relationship..

No matter what I do, I've long ago hurt their trust and heart and they might never ever forgive me.. Cherie's such a loser in human's relations..

I've let so many people down and no one's gonna sympathise me..

Sometimes I wish I am a patient on terminal illness and dying soon so that people can't wait to treat me the best they could, spending the time they could for my lasdt journey..

Sometimes I wish life was tougher so that I can somehow learn to be stronger and independent..

I was such a pussy in life and thinking that I'm a princess so people should always spare a thought for me.. Selfish fucker..

Sometimes I brag about the freedom of being single yet deep down I just needed someone who is worth for me to put my heart and soul into loving..

I boast about how much I love my family yet I throw my temper at them on my worst days and most of my days now are worst day..

I'm being killed spiritual in my new branch and the only thought when I step into it is to get my resignation letter sent out asap..

I wanna get out of the situation but it seems that I'm slipping deeper into it..

Life's a dilemma, on one hand they say you should fight for whatever you desire, on the other hand, they say love shouldn't be force..

On one hand they say humans should focus on spiritual satisfaction and forgo luxury and monetary seduction, on the other hand, people wants you to become extraordinary and be a billionaire..

Cherie's is in a dilemma, stay on or quit..

Some people give up and quit while other stay on to fight..

But they say what matters most is being happy..

How come people invent such bullshits to fool people around.. I'm being fooled by all these theories..

Cherie wants more in life..

She's unhappy about how little she can do to make people around her happier.. She has changed, she's no longer the most cheerful and bubbly girl people used to know.. That Cherie's dead.. She trying to become who she isn't cos the society require her to do so so that fulfil her dreams and desires and abide to life's dilemma..

Cherie's not happy anymore, she's crying every now and then cos she took life for granted and hurt too many people.. She can't get them back.. NOBODY IS GONNA FORGIVE HER!