BaD dAy..

I had a fucking bad day, bad mood, bad heart, bad meals and bad baked cake..

What did you had?

I've been hiding too long..
Been avoiding too long..
Escaping too long..

I'm actually not happy you know..

I'm so unhappy with the way the family is communicating now..
I'm so afraid what I called happiness will be gone soon..
I love my family..
I want to feel loved too..

I'm so sad..
i'm crying..
I'm having heartbreaks..

Who will understand that I'm not happy rotting at home..
I'm not happy seeing my family bickering whenever I feel that I wanna be home with them..
I hate to see mum becoming what she isn't in the past..
I want the simple life back..
I'm so afraid..

I'm so afraid of my future..
So afraid of growing up..
So afraid of making decision myself..
So afraid of being independent..
So afraid of how people will think of me..
So afriad of people misunderstanding me..
So afraid that people will say I'm hiding my true self..
So afraid that I'll one day become who I hate myself to be..

So afraid I'll lose myself..
So afraid I'll lose everything..