Serious Thoughts..

Read Sak's blog on Sundae night and I cried.. Dunno y..

I always thought when two people are in a relationship, they will definitely know what each other is doing at any point of time..

But after observing the couple around me these few days.. Things doesn't seems like what I thought..

Maybe I never had a misconception, just that things always happen the way I thought it shld be happening..

In all my relationship, I know what he is doing now, where he is, who he is with, when he is sleeping.. I thought it shld happen this way..

But people are pursuing freedom in relationships now.. So maybe I should learn to accept that.. So that i wouldn't make the same mistakes again..

Shouldn't be so possessive ba.. But I feel so insecure when I'm alone and couldn't find anyone to confide.. I feel so small.. So lonely..

I know everyone feels that once in a while, and will get over it sooner or later.. But mine seems so long..

Sometimes I feels that I am too old..

Cos I wanna learn dance, piano..

And i feel that it all came too late in my mind..

But I feel so immature in relationship..

I couldn't understand the meaning of love..

I onli know he is my all time companion..

The saddness i felt during breakups is because of love, or because I lose my companion.. ?

I DUN UNDERSTAND..

Decided to be those single but nt available type..

Should stop searching for the guy..

Should wait for nature to take its course..

Meanwhile, I will enjoy my life with my ET..

And hope he will become what I hope he will become..

I know that's selfish..

But I reli meant good..

I hope u will noe how i felt these few daes.. I had never once lied to u my feelings.. Wth it's gd or bad, i will tell u truthfully..

Everytime u smoke, u give mi a chance to give a thought abt giving up..

I'm so tired of giving you permission cos u had never once followed what I sae..

You know what I want and hope to get from u..

I have already stop searching..

I hope you wont made mi regret my decision again..

I feel so insecure now, cos u aren't here by my side..

I hope to get your full attention..

I rmb ur 1st tear for mi..

I wont make u cry anymore..

Cos I will always be the weaker one for u to take care of..

I want you to be responsible for my well being..

For I have chosen to take this path with you..

You know how I have cried because of my fren's relationship..

Cos I dun wan to be like them..

Got blinded by love..

I asked you: " Why do couples quarrel, complains, angered, cried.. But are still tgt..?"

You told mi: "Because of love"

Till todae i dun understand love..

And I want you to show me the way to understanding it..

Feel it..

And showing it to you is my ultimate motive..