I hAvE sUmThInG tO sAy..

I dunno how many times have I been crying in front of the computer because of him.. It's 4am & My class in at 9am ltr in the morning.. And i hafta wake up at 7..

But i'm nt as usual slping on my bed, or toking on the phone with him.. I'm juz a loser facing a screen & a keyboard..

You told mi to trust u, & i did..
You promised, & i accepted..
You broke the promise, & i could onli keep quiet..

On the bus, i reli could nt stop myself frm tearing.. Ya, i told u, u can do watever u want.. I tot u can haf sum self-discipline.. I tot u could have kept the promise v well.. B'cos u promised to..

I dun care how many ppl around u r smoking, or how hard is it for u to start again, or the reason to y u started it again.. I DUN CARE.. You can say i'm selfish, unreasonable, or watever vulgarities u can tik of.. Now i can tell u, i care fuck abt anything now..

I tried nt to ask u any question, i tried nt to let my feeling show, i tot u can tell mi urself, y u r smoking or apologised for anything.. But u didnt.. You can onli tell mi tt u tag in my blog.. Is tt all u can do?

I not onli ashamed, disappointed.. But I'm reli reli reli HEARTBROKEN..
Is it wat i haf done tt made u into it again?
Is it sumthing tt i do to make u feel tt i deserve such punishment?
Or is it tt i cant be of any influence to u anymore?

You have doubts in ur mind..
But i have more..
I reli dun wanna quarrel with u for anything anymore.. I'm reli afraid.. I fear of losing sumthing..
Is it u? Or is it the trust btw us?

You had enuff of my attitude, & i had enuff of ur reasons..

Am i a true blue idiot? Or am i juz a clown in others' heart?
I tried to change my attitude..


I dunno.. I'm confused.. I found myself having no one to talk to at this hour.. Or at any time.. Cos i'm a loser.. I couldn't tell my feelings to anyone.. Tt's y i wrote it here???

I could onli tell u.. No matter wat happen..


Thank you for being by my side for e past 6 months..